Have You Lost Anything Lately?
There’s a quote so much a part of my history, I don’t remember when I first heard it. Perhaps it came to me in childhood, a literary quip shared by my mother, or I heard it in some class, or perhaps I first saw it online as the internet was stretching its still-damp wings. I was a fledgling myself then, emerging into adulthood. Then, the quote was cute and funny, a silly quip. Now I see it as the quote of motherhood, especially mothers during summer vacation.
“Out of all the things I have lost, I miss my mind the most.” —Mark Twain
We are now seventy hundred days into “Summer Break” and the first phrase I see when I open my journal: “Eruption of chaos.”
Last night is one example of such chaos.
The youngest discovered a small toy blender I’d gotten for him. I wasn’t planning to give it to him until I knew how loud it would be (he has an affinity for noisy toys), but he found it while I was doing something else, another child put batteries in it, and … he fell in love.
He spent the day making “smoothies” as the toy blender tossed small plastic food items around in its jar. The noise was oppressive.
At bedtime, the blender went on the fireplace mantle, out of reach.
Out of reach, that is, until around 1am, when the bell attached to the baby gate woke me. (Yes, we have a bear bell on our baby gate.) He’d found the blender, pulled a chair over, retrieved it, and was happily waking his older brother with a plastic culinary flavor adventure.
I took the blender.
Cue FIVE HOURS of loud blender-longing wails alternating with non-blender play. Sleep was not on his menu.
Finally, at 6:30am, the bell again roused me from my final chance at sleep. I caught him trying to get the cat to climb the bunkbed ladder. Back to his own bunk, he finally succumbed to sleep.
That story is summer.
These endless summer days have been a chaos of berry picking, rooster-first-crow awaiting, long hikes with friends, and a few moments of writing squeezed in the margins.
It’s hard to feel like anything useful is accomplished in such days, and yet I know that this time of living is a season, like summer itself. Seasons come, and they go. Like a tired mama’s mind!
These endless summer days have been a chaos of exhaustion … and delight. Maybe there’s something important to be gained in the losing?
I have a feeling these distracted days will be some of my or my children's best memories. And letting go of my AGENDA leaves me open to God's, which for some reason I may not discern this side of eternity, last night included a little boy and a blender!
Thank you for taking a moment from your delightful chaos to spend with me!
If reading by email, read on for highlights, resources you won’t want to miss, and a challenge.
Rebecca
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